Posted 2:32 AM by John A. Seafisk

It's 2:30 a.m. on a Friday night. The wind is howling outside my door. It whistles down the corridor between my building and the building next door. I can hear the branches of the trees rustling & ruffling, scraping against the buildings and each other.

It's soothing in a way. If it was anymore soothing, I would not notice the wind at 2:30 a.m. on a Friday night, having finally fallen asleep.

Posted 5:20 PM by John A. Seafisk

The worst thing you can hear from a girl that you feel like you have a chance with is:

"You're a great guy! You remind me of my brother."

Posted 4:28 PM by John A. Seafisk

I'm not much of a conversationalist.

Posted 12:56 AM by John A. Seafisk

Once at college, the cafeteria offered curried goat as one of the lunch entrees. Normally, I tend to try new and exotic culinary tastes. However, just a few days eariler, I turned down an opportunity to sample some Brains Marsala. And judging by the gray appearance of the goat-ish delicacy at the counter, I declined any sampling.

Why do I bring up goat-eating? Oh, no reason. Ask me again in another 58 years.

Posted 1:48 PM by John A. Seafisk

Rush Limbaugh Is A Big, Fat Idiot.

And I liked Al Franken's book, too.

Posted 11:03 AM by John A. Seafisk

I was at a news site today, and the top 3 headlines appeared in the 'entertainment' section:

- Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54

- Writer George Plimpton dies at 76

- Ben Affleck buys truck in Georgia

Sad, really.

Posted 3:59 PM by John A. Seafisk

Is anyone else feeling bored?

Posted 1:57 AM by John A. Seafisk

The Emmys were on today.

I didn't notice.

I more or less stopped watching regular television, so I had not real interest or curiosity about who was nominated or who won. The few shows that I did check out from time to time I now own on DVD, so there's no waiting and scheduling my days around specific programming.

I spent the day at Dodger Stadium, watching the Los Angeles Dodgers come from behind and beat the San Francisco Giants. It was Fan Appreciation Day, but I didn't win anything. However, I did appreciate seeing back-to-back-to-back home runs.

"Police Activity" held us up for about 15-20 minutes on the freeway off-ramp. Luckily, I was able to navigate a secret back way to avoid the 'activity' and a lot of traffic. However, I didn't count on the steep hills, but we were able to make it to the stadium just fine.

Our seats were in the sun, so I expect to be nice and red and painfully sore tomorrow...unless the good folks at Coppertone did their job. One of the seats a friend was sitting in broke during the 3rd inning. I thought it was funny, but I'm still asking the team for a refund. And the friend managed to make it through the rest of the game precariously balancing himself on the busted seat.

After a few hours in the sun, a person tends to feel tired, even lethargic. So, once I was back at home sweet home, I spent the rest of my lazy Sunday afternoon & evening watching NFL and dining on some Wendy's. It don't get no better than this!

Posted 11:53 AM by John A. Seafisk

Johnny Cash AND John Ritter passed away today.

I am sad.

Maybe a few viewings of the "Family Guy" Volume 2 DVD set will cheer me up.

Posted 4:55 PM by John A. Seafisk

I might as well face it, I'm addicted to DVDs

When the whole digital video on disc technological breakthrough came about not so long ago, I shrugged my shoulders in a sort-of "feh" kind of way. I've never been a big TV or movie geek, at least not of most of the offerings Hollywood presents us nowadays.

But some strange things started happening. DVDs featuring shows & film that I actually like began to be released into the wild. I think what started it was the first season of 'Sanford & Son'.

The advantages of DVD over VHS started to sink into my sometimes-hard skull. Instead of fast-forwarding or rewinding to get to the good spots or episodes, I could now arrive at these destinations in a few presses of the buttons & a few winks of the eye. How could I resist.

Then came my second great DVD purchase: "Monty Python & The Holy Grail: The Collectors Edition". Not only did my DVD set come with the movie, but also filled with numerous extra materials, like:

- A BBC documentary filmed while the Pythons were on location shooting

- A more recent tour of the locations & castles used in the original film, hosted by Michael Palin & Terry Jones

- An all-Lego(tm) production of the 'Knights of the Round Table' sequence

...and many more.

Now, I'm in the midst of a DVD buying frenzy. Here's what I've collected, just in the past 2 weeks:

- The Simpsons Season 3 Box Set (4 discs)
- The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus (12 discs)
- Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 1 (4 discs)
- The Red Green Show Six Pack (6 discs)
- Animal House: Double Secret Probation Edition (1 disc)
- Mr. Show The Third Season (2 discs)
- Mr. Bean: The Whole Bean (3 discs)

And I'm sure I'm forgetting a set or two. In addition, there still plenty of more discs awaiting for me on the horizon.

It's probably just a phase I'm going through. But it's sure making my credit card companies happy.

Posted 5:24 PM by John A. Seafisk

*cough, cough*

*hack, cough, cough* aahhhhemmmmmmmnnnnnnnn!

Darn it, I thought this cold & cough would be gone by now.

Guess it's back to Nyquil shots now.

Posted 11:51 AM by John A. Seafisk

It was a weekend I needed. Very relaxing, very mellow. I just hung around the apartment.

After a few weeks of running myself ragged work-wise, it was nice to have a mini-break. Maybe part of the pleasant feeling was due to post-birthday euphoria.

It was my birthday on Friday. Everyone at work wished me a happy birthday, even people I hadn't talked to all week. I went for a birthday lunch which was surprisingly paid for. Nothing tastes as good as free food.

Then that evening I went with a big crowd to Buca di Beppo, an Italian family-style restaurant where the dishes are huge. There were around 20 of us in the Pope Room, a small room decorated with pictures & photos of various popes of the past. The food was good, and the presents were nice.

It was a nice feeling to have such a big turnout for a birthday. It feels good once in a while to have a sense of appreciation, to have folks come out in your honor. It's a great boost to one's self-worth.

And we could all use some boosting now and then.

Posted 12:29 PM by John A. Seafisk

Getting to know me

The following is a response/reaction to the blog of Trish, a current North Carolinian & future librarian:

Courtesy of Green Fairy, there's a trend circling now of questions ala Friday Five, but contributed by your nearest and dearest bloggers.

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The five given to me were:
1. Why did you pick a pseudonym, and why that particular one?

To maintain a sense of mystery about myself, and to avoid getting spam e-mails about penis enlargements & mortgage reductions. The pseudonym I've chosen is an anagram of my actual name, as discovered by the Internet Anagram Server.


2. What's the most difficult thing you find about living in LA?

The traffic. Not only are there a lot of cars out here, but 99.99% of them are driven by complete morons. Hey buddy, ever hear of a turn signal? Then use it! Why are you still stopped at a green light? What are you waiting for, an invitation?


3. What, or who, do you regard as the pinnacle of human effort?

What - Man landing on the moon.

Who - Jonas Salk discovering a cure for polio.


4. How do you feel about Ahnold running for Governor of your fine state?

It worries me, since the fine voters of this state might actually put him in office. I personally find the whole recall thing a monumental waste of time and money....a complete joke, and not such an amusing one at that. If this can happen, why not have a recall election on the federal level? The economy still sucks, they still haven't found those WMDs in Iraq, and where's Osama bin Laden?


5. Do you see yourself married with kids, just married, or still single in five years? Ten years?

5 years - Single.

10 years - Double, if I don't start watching my weight.

Posted 4:29 PM by John A. Seafisk

I own a Playstation 2 game console. Yet, instead of playing games on it, I've been using it as a DVD player 99.9% of the time. Someone told me that's what people in Japan do with theirs.

And the other day, I purchased through the mail a Kintetsu Buffaloes baseball cap. I'm in to collecting obscure sports paraphernalia, and a team with the Nippon League in Japan is pretty obscure.

And last night, I picked up a Beef & Chicken Bowl from Yoshinoya for dinner.

I'm turning Japanese. I really think so.

Posted 2:44 PM by John A. Seafisk

A problem with lack of central air conditioning is the concurring lack of sleep one gets during the hot summer months.

No rest at night means one can inexplicably doze off doing any sort of taskkkkkkkk......................afibsbdiweaEIkfsbwfresifoaWWDDRR1Wrrip;;;;fih5q55555500000000890qqqqrgeq48i4qui8t...

Oops! Sorry...took a quick nap on my keyboard.

I need caffeine. Where's a good Jolt cola when you need one?

Posted 5:40 PM by John A. Seafisk

It was an OK weekend. I've been fighting a cold. I went to a Dodgers-Cubs game. I went to a BBQ.

When I walked into work this morning & sat down, I was overcome by a wave of frustration. Three different people came by, each with a host of problems. Then a few more with more problems...dumping all their concerns on my lap.

Now I get to stay late once again, trying to solve these problems. If I don't remain tonight, it just means more barrels of crap to sift through tomorrow.

I think I'm in a rut. I'm reaching a point where I don't want to come to work anymore. My usual pleasant facade is eroding away into a dour, aggravated look of scorn & resentment. I'm finding myself caring less and less as each work day passes.

I need a change of scene. Or at least a vacation. If only I could afford such time off. Until then, guess I'll just trudge through another semi-meaningless day.

Posted 12:59 AM by John A. Seafisk

My sore throat has now developed into a congested area in the back of my throat, with some extentions into a stuffy nose.

This is a good sign. This means my body's fighting back, just like the British at the Battle of El Alamein in WW2. Mucus, although nasty in nature, is a very beneficial defense system for the body. Once your antibodies & white blood cells & allies begin the push back to healthiness, there needs to be proper disposal of the dead & defeated germs 'n' viruses. The mucus collects these nogoodniks (much like flypaper collecting flies), and streams them to your nose or back of your mouth for proper expulsion, whether by blowing said nose or hocking loogies from said mouth. I recommend the former, since it's much more hygenic all-around - not to mention the chance you may step on your own spit in your new Doc Martens or K-Swiss or whatever.

So now I'm sniffling & coughing, trying to get the mucus out. Good thing they had a sale on Kleenex at Ralphs. This may not be the end of my cold, or even the beginning of the end...but it is the end of the beginning.

I hope no one's eating tapioca pudding or egg-drop soup while reading the explicit content above.

Posted 3:43 PM by John A. Seafisk

My throat hurts. I think I'm catching a cold.

This concerns me, because how can I catch a cold when it's 90 degrees & sunny outside?

Posted 6:31 PM by John A. Seafisk

When cooking a frozen deep-dish pizza, make sure the pizza is cooked evenly all the way throughout before removing it from the oven and eating it...even if you're absolutely starving at that point.

Otherwise, you'll be sorry all night. Believe me.

Posted 6:57 PM by John A. Seafisk

Sometimes you just want to scream...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes.

Posted 1:16 PM by John A. Seafisk

Oh, dear me, I've just been too busy to write anything! Heaven's sake, there's just isn't enough time in the day to get everything you want done! Mercy me, I need to have me a sit-down.

But I did find time to purchase The Monkees Season 1 DVD box set. 32 episodes & a few interesting extras. A very good purchase...with the only drawback being that I don't know if I have the patience to wait for Season 2.

My favorite episode has to be where the group tries to teach a Frankenstein-ish monster (portrayed by Richard Kiel, a.k.a. 'Jaws' in a few of the Roger Moore-helmed James Bond films) how to sing & play music. Very funny lines & gags.

Well, no more time to write. Once more into the breach, once more!

Posted 2:38 PM by John A. Seafisk

It's too hot to think. But I'll try anyway.

Barry White's dead. I feel sad.

Strom Thurmond's dead. I don't feel as sad.

The sites I read that I don't mind giving free advertising for are The Onion and Mr. Cranky.

Minor league baseball is much more fun than Major League Baseball.

I really don't care what's on TV tonight.

Alcohol is a social drink; it should never be a solitary drink.

I have no problem with the maintream adult entertainment industry. It's the bizarre fringe fetishes that make me a tad uncomfortable.

Don't listen to people that want to tell you how to live your life. Let them figure out how to run their own lives first.

It's great having friends with pool access.

I haven't found that special someone yet. But I'm not so sure if I need or want one right now.

The new Turkey Jack burger at Jack In the Box isn't half-bad.

The new Grilled Chicken Caesar Stuft burrito at Taco Bell is pretty yummy, as well.

I haven't had a good night's sleep in about two years.

Vanilla Coke is quite tasty. A&W Cream Soda is even better.

My baseball cap collection is up to about 20. I need to get a new cap from a Japanese League team.

My CD collection is up to about 300. Yet I desire even more.

It's still too hot to think today.

Posted 1:57 AM by John A. Seafisk

Happy 4th of July *burp*

I have done my part to celebrate the independence of our great nation of ours by ingesting a heroic quantity of barbecued meat over the holiday weekend. Burgers, sausage, steak, hot dogs, chicken, turkey....there was nary a widely-consumed mammal or poultry that I did not taste.

And now, I plan to round out my celebration of the good ol' U. S. of A. with an equally heroic intake of antacids. God Bless America, and God bless Pepcid AC!

I might be awhile. Go about your business.

Posted 12:16 AM by John A. Seafisk

Tempting

Tonight on Cinemax, they're showing "Sinful Temptations". At the exact same time on More Max, they're showing "Wicked Temptations".

What would you do?

Posted 12:01 PM by John A. Seafisk

Helping Our Four-Footed Friends

I'm not sure if this site is a scam or not, but it seems pretty legit. No, I don't mean this blog (because, in fact, this site here is the final level of a massive pyramid scheme involving Nigerian e-mails).

I'm referring to The Animal Rescue Site. The way it works is that when you visit the site & click on the button, you'll be helping donate 6 bowls of food to an animal currently in a shelter or sanctuary. Although it doesn't really specify which shelters or sanctuaries, or which animals, I'd rather be helping out some poor cat or dog than clicking my way out of a pop-up site offering me university diplomas and increased penis sizes. (I already have my degree, and my genitalia is fine, thank you.)

And today's front page pic on the animal rescue site is of a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, not unlike the dog our family had for 14 years. No fair, pulling on the heart strings like that. So, anyway, if you like animals & like clicking buttons, check it out. You'll be glad you did!

Posted 6:16 PM by John A. Seafisk

Getting Personal

I've noticed that the personals sections of The Onion and Fark are exactly the same.

I knew this FCC de-regulation would cause trouble!

Posted 6:53 PM by John A. Seafisk

With Friendsters Like These...

Upon the advice of a few friends, I signed up with this website friendster.com. The idea of this site is to broaden your friendship horizons by meeting friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, friends of friends of friends of friends....and so on. People are inter-connected through their own 'personal network', where you can look at someone's profile and see who their friends are, and see what their interests happen to be...and maybe meet someone for a friendly get-together or much more.

So, I sign up, and within a week, I already have 12 friends linked to me in one degree of separation. According to Friendster, I'm connected to over 30,000 people throughout my 'Personal Network' in furthering degrees of separation.....and 29,993 of them I'm connected through via Maura.

Now I'm all set! Ready to open wide the doors to online social interaction! Look out ladies, here I come! So, let's just log on to 'www.friendster.com', and......

What's this? "DNLL server error...cannot find this website." Oh, they must be updating it. I'll try a little later.

A little later - click, click, click, return...it's loading....it's loading.....still loading...

"DNLL server error....cannot find website."

Hmmm. Seems to be a glitch of some kind.

2 hours later - "DNLL server error....cannot find website."

6 hours later - "DNLL server error....cannot find website."

The next day.....success! Logging in name & password, then enter. *click*.

Loading.....

Still loading......

Still loading......

Still loading....................

"DNLL server error....cannot find website."

Later that evening - "DNLL server error....cannot find website."

And the next day after that.....loading.....loading.....loading......loading....

"DNLL server error....cannot find website."

OK, so after some near misses and many far-off-the-target misses, it appears I'll have to meet people the old fashioned way....by meeting them.

Darn it.

Posted 5:06 PM by John A. Seafisk

Thanks, Blogger! (#1)

I had recently typed up a great blog entry about going to the Arclight Theatre in L.A. and seeing the film "Wattstax". However, when I tried to post, blogger.com went off the air, so to speak. I was given that 'this website cannot be found' error message.

The crushing blow of this sad realization had wilted my desire to re-type the whole thing. So basically, to sum up what I had originally written - liked the movie, liked the theater, $14 is a bit much for a film, but you gotta treat yourself once in a while.

Posted 7:20 PM by John A. Seafisk

Bandwagonesque

Go Ducks!

I admit I'm not a die-hard fan of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, but I do enjoy ice hockey. And I always root for the team who isn't supposed to win. (This is not too difficult, as I am a graduate of Northwestern University.)

At first, I was amused & kind of proud of the Ducks for sweeping the Detroit Red Wings in the first round. Then I found myself a good spot on the bandwagon and cheered as Anaheim faced the Dallas Stars, a team I'm not particularly fond of. When it comes to the NHL, I have a slight irksomeness toward the teams that have relocated from colder, hockey-appreciative areas to warmer, hockey-indifferent-but-might-like-it-as-a-novelty places. I realise there's profit at stake, but I don't care much for the business/corporate side of sports. Bunch of killjoys. Anyway, these teams I'm not that fond of:

Colorado Avalanche (was the Quebec Nordiques)
Dallas Stars (was the Minnesota North Stars)
Phoenix Coyotes (was the Winnipeg Jets)
Carolina Hurricanes (was the Hartford Whalers)

I have more of an affinity toward the Avs & Stars because of their success & superstars. I'm a iconoclastic hockey fan. Or maybe revolutionist, I'm not quite sure.

But anyway, it was great seeing the Ducks in those overtime thrillers beating Dallas. The Ducks won the series on a goal with about a minute left in Game 6. Bye bye, Modano, Hatcher, et al.

Then it was on to the Western Conference finals against the Minnesota Wild. I honestly would have been happy if either the Ducks or Wild won this series. Like the Ducks, Minnesota wasn't expected to get this far. But I admired the way they did arrive at this point: In the first round, beating the Colorado Avalanche in overtime of Game 7 after being down 3 games to 1 in the series; In the second round, beating the Vancouver Canucks in 7 games after being down 3 games to 1 YET AGAIN. Most importantly, I think the Wild have a cool jersey. I'm glad to have it as one in my collection.

Sadly for the WIld, goaltender Jean-Sebastiern Giguere kept up his amazing hot streak by registeing 3 straight shutouts as the Ducks advanced to the Stanley Cup finals in a 4-game sweep.

Now those Mighty Ducks of Anaheim are facing the New Jersey Devils (and another team whose jersey I own). The first 2 games were 3-0 Devil victories, and it looked like the Ducks magic had run out. But wouldn't you know it - when the series came back to Southern California, those Duckies swung the momentum around with 2 straight overtime victories. They're now 7-0 in overtime playoff games. Game 5 is tomorrow, and I need to find me a TV set somewhere around 5 p.m. Pacific.

I hope the Ducks can do it. Disney ownership & camera shots of Emilio Estevez in the luxury box aside, this is a team I can root for. There are no star players, except for Paul Kariya, and he hasn;t been lighting the lamp too much. These are guys working as a real team, depending on each other when no one really gave them a chance. Just like the Angels, another bandwagon I hopped on last October & November.

Well, here's hoping Keith Carney, Steve Thomas, Steve Rucchin, Ruslan Salei, Stanislav Chisnov, Dan Bylsma, Jason Krog, Sandis Ozolinsh, Marc Chienard, John LeClerc, JSS, PK and the rest of the guys will be the one hoisting Lord Stanley's Cup over their heads.

I better get me a jersey.

Posted 6:25 PM by John A. Seafisk

Just Got Back From a Vegas Show

I just returned from a week spent in Las Vegas, Nevada. Not literally spent, since I did not have much chance to do any gambling....for I was not there on vacation, I was there to work on a play.

The play is called "The Godfaddah Workout". Basically, it is a one-man show in which the one man re-enacts scenes from the film "The Godfather". He plays all the parts, leaping all over furniture to change to different characters. It is quite a funny performance, not to mention athletic.

My role in this production was not of the one man, but of one of five 'Goombahs'. The Goombahs were on-stage stagehands who move furniture and setting between scenes, and also present & remove props during the scenes. Our roles as Goombahs were all choreographed, meaning we just didn't plop down desks and chairs -- We had to carefully orchestrate what to put where and when to do it. The process was designed to speed the scene changes, in addition to keep the audience entertained. So the good folks in attendance got to see these guys pop up on stage in their white shirts, black slacks, suspenders & fedoras...and watch us move car fenders & trampolines, just to name a few items we had to deal with.

We all arrived on a Thursday at noon, and immediately went to work. We had to unload a large semi trailer full of furniture & storage bins & doors & such. Then we had to organize everything & rebuild whatever needed rebuiling. After that, it was learning or re-learning cues and directions.

Everyday from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. we'd spend in a theater at the Golden Nugget Casino, with occasional breaks for lunch & dinner. The theater was originally built for Frank Sinatra, which added to the aura a bit. But I will admit, rehearsing & re-organizing did take their toll physically and emotionally. For those not involved in the theater world, there is a heck of a lot of preparation in putting together what you see on stage.

For our first rehearsal, it felt like I found new ways to screw up between each scene. It immediately got off to a bad start when the first thing I did after setting down a desk was to run into a tree. It went downhill from there. I was late for cues, I had trouble carrying other objects....it all led to my most spectacular mistake - falling down in a thunderous boom while pankicly trying to move a chair with a trampoline on it. I thought, 'I have sucked like no thespian has sucked before.' (Or it actually might have been, "What the hell am I doing?")

The next night was the actual performance. Two days is not normally an ample amount of time to re-learn a play you haven't been involved with in the past 2 years. But we had a quick run-through in the morning, and my mistake & the mistakes of others were slowly minimized. At 7 p.m., the curtain pulled back, and there I was...on stage....moving a desk over with another goombah. As we exited Stage Right, I approached the tree...and didn't even brush against it.

As the play went on, the laughter from the audience grew and grew. The star of the show was feeding off the crowd's reaction, and the Goombahs were feeling the boost, as well. We strode confidently between each scene change, lugging our heavy tables with greater ease. We even received a few laughs of our own, and they were intentional. An hour after it began, the play ended, the curtain closed, and the Goombahs all scrambled behind, reading for the curtain call.

When it opened, we were greeted with a standing ovation. 300 people applauding, with a few whistles of approvement thrown in. Although the glare of the stagelights made it impossible to see it, the ovation could definitely be heard...and felt. The star & the Goombahs all gathered back stage to bask in the glow of a successful show. Hearing the applause & cheers made the 16-hour days of aggravation & worry worth it. It was one of the times in my life where I had such a strong sense of accomplishment.

Then we had to go re-load the truck. We finished at 4 a.m. But we did have a lavish dinner beforehand, courtesy of the show's producers. And after the load up, we decided there was no point in sleep, so we finally hit the casinos - first downtown, then The Strip. I played roulette and came out $10 ahead.

It's been 2 days since I returned, and I'm still slowly recovering. The days were long & tiring. The casino employee cafeteria brought back memories of college dorm food. My hands & legs are a patchwork of cuts & bruises.

I had a great time.

Posted 6:17 PM by John A. Seafisk

Bowled Over

I went bowling last night. Not just out of the blue - I was invited for a friend's impromptu birthday celebration. We went to a bowling alley connected with an ice rink I occasionally visit to play broomball.

My scores for the 3 games were 93, 139, 124. A few strikes here, a few gutter balls there, I was overall pleased with my perfomance. PBA Tour, here I come!

The only thing that irked me...well, not irked, but half-annoyed, was the alley's policy of not bringing in outside food or drink. I can understand if we were going to a Dodgers game, because of their dependancy on concession sales of $7 beers, but this wasn't a Dodgers game. (There was more scoring.) Our friend brought cupcakes to share in celebration of his birth. However, he could only bring them in on the stipulation that we don't eat them.

What? Were they afraid our consumption of frosted treats would be an economic dagger into the back of their snack bar? (The snack bar was closed, by the way.) Were they afraid of getting chocolate on their balls? They were mostly black, anyway, so it wouldn't have shown. (Insert your own black chocolate balls joke here.)

So, after 20 rousing frames, we stepped outside. Most people would be stepping outside to smoke; we were stepping outside to eat cupcakes. Like cigarette smoke, I guess the aroma of Duncan Hines treat would be distracting to the bowling alley staff.

And since we wanted to continue bowling after eating, there was the dilemma about our bowling shoes. Do we take them off & turn them in, only to re-retrieve them afterwards? Do we leave them on, having the bowling alley staff thinking we wanted to steal them? Because, as you know, nothing sets the style like walking down Sunset Strip in big bowling shoes with the words 'Pickwick Alley' emblazoned across the toes.

We were told we could walk outside with the shoes on.....AS LONG AS WE DON"T WALK ON THE ASPHALT. I'm guessing the shoes might melt if they touched the parking lot. Just to be coy, I hovered my foot just off the sidewalk...but no one was watching, so I stopped.

All in all, it was a good evening. My arm wasn't too sore, the cupcakes were good, and my post-throw body-english had a few snazzy moves.

Posted 5:09 PM by John A. Seafisk

Movie Time

I'm going to go see 'Martix: Reloaded' this evening. Now, this statement should cause a lot of concern & confusion to you dear readers. And here's why:

1. I never attend movies. I, on average, usually attend about 2 or 3 cinema outings a year. And the few times I actually go to see a film, it's usually one of those 'independent' films playing at 'art house' theaters - 'Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy', for example. I hardly, if ever, make a point to spend $9-$10 on a 'blockbuster' or 'highly advertised' movie. And this 'Matrix' film sure gots a lot of buzz at the moment.

2. I did not see the first 'Matrix'. So, I've been told that I will be thoroughly confused trying to follow along with the plot. I suppose I just won't follow any plot, then....I'll just react to each on-screen explosion with a, "Coooooool!", with the occasional "Awesome!"

3. Usually when someone writes about a film, they put pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard) AFTER they see the film. And here I am blabbing about it even before I've had my $4 box of Raisinets.

4. I enjoy ice hockey, and have really been following this year's playoffs. However, as a result of my attendance at this film, I will be unable to watch Game 4 of the NHL Western Conference Finals between the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim & the Minnesota Wild.. I will miss the chance to witness those scrappy Ducks possibly clinch their way to the Stanley Cup final.

This isn't coming off as a complaint. If I really didn't want to go, I would have declined. But, I've realised, when I'm not out hiking or buying pornography, I should be involved in more social outings. And this outing will be with some folks I haven't seen that often lately. Therefore, I'm not going because I really want to see 'Matrix: Reloaded". I'm going because I can.

Posted 2:22 PM by John A. Seafisk

A Slightly Ribald Joke

An elderly man went to see his doctor. "Doc, you gotta help me!" he said. "It's my sex drive."

"What about it?" asked the doctor.

The man replied, "I want you to lower it."

The doctor was taken off-guard by this request. He looked at the man, who was in poor health and had a nasty cough. The doctor asked, "Come again?"

The man said again, "I want you to lower it."

After a brief examination, the doctor was still puzzled by the man's request. "I'm sorry," the doctor told him, "But I see nothing so extraordinary about your sex drive. It's all in your head!"

"I know," the man replied. "That's why I want you to lower it!"

Posted 2:15 AM by John A. Seafisk

Now I Have An Excuse

I finally received my 'Family Guy' DVD box set. I can watch my television set again at any time, as opposed to waiting until 11:30 p.m. Sunday through Thursday on Cartoon Network. Then again, the episodes that are scheduled for this week are not featured in the box set.

Well, guess the VCR gets to keep it's job for a little while.

I shall now wrap up this very short blog entry with a hilarious 'Family Guy' quote:

Peter: "Oh my god...there's a secret message in my Alpha Bits! It says, 'Oooooooooooooo!'"
Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios."

Posted 10:54 AM by John A. Seafisk

I probably should have put some kind of viewer advisory on the last post, since the subject matter was for more mature audiences.

Then I bet even more people would read it.

Posted 10:52 AM by John A. Seafisk

An Open Letter To Those Who Use Men's Public Restrooms

How hard is it not to pee on the toilet seats? Don't you realise how disgusting that is? What is so difficult about lifting the seat up when doing Number One? Have you no consideration to those of us who need to do Number Two? Do you think we want to sit in your urine? Do you think we want to waste precious valuable time cleaning up the mess you were too damn lazy to take care of yourself? When Nature calls, you need to accept the charges...you can't put this one on call-waiting.

What's wrong with you people? Are you stupid?

Jeez.

Posted 10:03 AM by John A. Seafisk

Has anyone else stopped watching 'The Simpsons' on a regular basis? It's as if Matt Groening, Fox & co. no longer care.

Well, neither do I.

Posted 2:47 PM by John A. Seafisk

Still waiting to get my hands on the 'Family Guy' DVD box set. At least it would give me a better excuse as to my lack of postings here.

Posted 5:10 PM by John A. Seafisk

John Seafisk's 114th Dream

Last night, I had a dream. Technically, everybody has dreams when they sleep, except not everyone remembers them or they're too dull & boring to be worth remembering. Was mine worth remembering? You be the judge:

It began at a motel near a mountainous desert region, maybe Arizona or the Mojave. A group of us were about to leave for a hiking expedition, and the people in the group were the same ones I went out dancing with last weekend for someone's birthday. (sidenote: Happy Birthday, Anna!) Before we left, I ran back to my hotel room to grab something...maybe sunglasses or a canteen or sunblock, I don't remember. Anyway, when I returned to the lobby, everyone was gone. I walked into the hotel restaurant, where I found the group I was just with. And they were working...some were waitressing, some were cooking, some were maitre'd-ing. I was told that the expedition was cancelled, and I should go find something else to do.

So I went for a walk...and somehow ended up in the gray-skied envions of Northwest Indiana....the gray skies coming from the steel mills nearby. I walked up a bridge over an interstate highway, and when I got to the top, I encounted members of the music group No Doubt.

Then I quickly realized that the top of the bridge was very, very high. There was only one way down...by parachute. A line formed for people to jump. After Gwen Stefani made her leap & started floating down, I was set to go. Just as I began floating down, music started playing....I soon realized I was in the start of a No Doubt music video. (Has No Doubt even made a music video involving parachutes?)

However, I was floating down in the other direction away from Gwen & her pals...with the music also fading away. I finally landed on a city street. But, there was something strange about this street....It was brightly colored, and the people seemed unreal & talking very quickly.

I looked around quickly, then realized where I was....I landed in a Japanese animated cartoon! Not one of those violent, "Akira"-type toons, but something along the lines of Tokyo Pig & Lupin The Third. The weird thing is I've only seen 1 episode of Tokyo Pig & 2 episodes of Lupin The Third in my lifetime. Don't get me wrong, they were pretty amusing...but why would I remember it?

Then I woke up.

I lay there in bed for a good few minutes, thinking to myself....

"What the hell was all that about?!?!!?"

Posted 1:12 AM by John A. Seafisk

Je Suis Un Reactionary

I realize why I have trouble posting to my log on a regular basis. Days go by without my brain uncapable of adding to my electronic journal/diary/notebook....yet, I do quite well in adding comments to other people's blogs.

I've concluded that I am not a man of action.

I am a man of reaction.

Even in normal conversations with folks (or 'real time', for you computer jockeys), I find it difficult to start a conversation. Yet, when someone does begin a discussion, I most often will jump in with my comments & suggestions & general tomfoolery. And even then, if I really feel like I have nothing to say, I won't said anything. It might make me look anti-social, but that's not the case. I just tend to be selective in my comment-making. As Mark Twain or P.T. Barnum or Abraham Lincoln or somebody once said, "Best to keep your mouth closed and have people think you're a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."

That's not to say every word I say or sentence I type is literary gold. I have on many occasions received responses of polite yet nervous giggles & confused stares to my verbal additions. But on the flip side, I have also gotten my fair share of pleasant acknowlegements & laughs of humorous satisfaction.

The way I see it, lots of people like to talk, but they're not saying anything. Fortunately, they're still plenty of people who do contribute positively to the fabric of social interaction. And these are people I like to seek out....that's why I tend to stay clear of Internet chat rooms or political arguments. I want to converse with the people who speak, so I have someone to react to.

Guess I'm just a vaudeville comedian looking for a straight man (or woman).

Posted 11:52 AM by John A. Seafisk

I Can't Get It Out Of My Head

Do you ever get a song in your head out of nowhere? I don't mean a song you just heard a few seconds ago on the radio receiver or compact disc playing device....I mean a song that you haven't heard in weeks or months or years or decades, and all of the sudden it just pops into your noggin.

And you get a mini-playlist of random styles & genres going on in your brain? Here's what I had trapped in my mind music-wise yesterday:

"Out of Touch", by Hall & Oates
The Olympic Theme, as heard on Olympic telecasts...most notably, from ABC in the 1980s
"Low Rider", by WAR
"We Want The Funk", by Parliament
"I Love Rocky Road", by Weird Al Yankovic

Where did these songs come from? Are they buried deep within my psyche for some reason? Were they trying to escape?

I have been trying to greatly expand my musical horizons, and maybe this is just a good example of how far I have come, music-appreciation-wise.

So, do you know what song can't I get out of my head at the moment?

"I Can't Get It Out of My Head", by ELO

Posted 2:43 PM by John A. Seafisk

Quit playing that damn song!

I am now permanently annoyed with 2 specific musical selections - "What I Like About You" by The Romantics, and "All-Star" by Smash Mouth.

Why am I annoyed? Because these 2 songs always seem to appear on every TV ad and movie trailer in existance. I have lost count of how many businesses have chosen to use 'What I Like About You' in their commercials. I've heard it in use for T.G.I. Friday's, some film comedy with Michael Douglas, Toyota's annual Spring Savings event...pretty much all across the advertising spectre of genres.

As far as 'All-Star', I've heard it in ads for Doritos, in the movie 'Shrek', Toyota's annual Spring Savings event.....also all across the advertising spectre of genres. And I am sick of it. Sick, I tell you!

What have we done as a people to deserve this constant bombardment of 2 melodies that aren't that fantastic to begin with? They were Ok the first time I heard them, but it's worn a bit thin after the 35, 762nd time of listening.

Unforunately, I have the same concerns over many Jimi Hendrix tunes, which have been used so many times by so many auto manufacturers that 'Fire' and 'Purple Haze' have lost all meaning whatsoever.

Well, whoever is fornunate to own the publishing rights to 'What I Like About You' and 'All Star' must be very wealthy men (or women) indeed....wealthy enough to afford better than to dine at T.G.I. Friday's or drive a Toyota.

Posted 11:02 AM by John A. Seafisk

I feel quite tired lately. Can't get to sleep at night...can't wake up in the morning. I must be on Tokyo time...which would be fine, if I lived in Tokyo.

I wonder if they're hiring?

Posted 6:56 PM by John A. Seafisk

I'm finding myself caring less and less.

I'm not depressed....just uninterested.

Posted 10:10 AM by John A. Seafisk

Yo! How's it hangin'?

I'm soaking up the Internet like a sponge!

Mmm, good cheesesteak!

Posted 12:35 PM by John A. Seafisk

Just A Headline Today, No Blog Entry Available --- I Couldn't Think Of Anything To Say Or Chatter About At The Moment

Posted 1:02 PM by John A. Seafisk

Words That No Longer Have Any Meaning For Me

Breaking News.

Alternative Music.

Controversial Subject.

Special Report.

Government of the people, by the people, for the people.

Posted 4:45 PM by John A. Seafisk

Celebrity Signing

I saw Ron Jeremy yesterday. For those unfamiliar with the name, Ron is a well-kown adult film star who has spent the past 20 or so years in the industry. Within that span, he has gotten overweight & lost some hair, but still has maintained the prime reason why he's still working hard. (You can figure out what I'm talking about by the clue word 'hard'.)

Ron has become an underground hero, of sorts. Last year, a documentary film was released about him. I went to go see it, primarily out of curiosity, with the added benefit of seeing some porno scenes without feeling too dirty or guilty about it. "It's not a sex film! It's a documentary! It's art!" Besides, the scenes were hardly graphic.

What also made this trip to the cinema interesting is that I, in fact, went to see a movie at all. It has become known to people that know me that I am not a movie buff. I have been written off as, "He Hate Movies". This is not 100% accurate...more like 95% accurate. I do not make a point to trek to a cinema because I don't find the experience very entertaining. My main point of contention are the usual offerings on screen. In my frank opinion, most is garbage, especially the big-budget, play-it-in-stadium-style-seated-theather. My 2nd point of contention is paying at least $8.50 to sit through such nonsense. Point #3 - Even before the film starts, having to sit through 6 or 7 trailers for equally bad & annoying films. Point #4 - people in the audience, in which there is always someone talking on their cell phone or laughing loudly at inopportune moments or people making loud noise in general or little kids yelling and/or crying. And Point #5 - I'm very picky in what I watch.

But, pushing all these points aside, I went to one of those small, art-house theaters and watched the movie. I liked it. Very interesting & humorous at times.

A year later, I found out that the DVD of "Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy" would be released yesterday, and the Hedgehog himself (as he is known) would be signing copies at Tower Records & Video on Sunset Boulevard. I, of course, had to go.

The signings began at 6 p.m. I arrived at the store at 7:30. There were 3 people in front of me, and there stood Mr. Jeremy, along with a semicircle of his managers & paparazzi (I'm guessing). He looked pretty much the same as in the documentary, except shorter. Or maybe I'm just taller than I think. He was standing at a table, signing away & posing for photographs, and he looked tired...not annoyed tired, but I-need-a-quick-nap tired.

After waiting for him to sign some guy's large Homer Simpson cardboard cut-out, one of the managers/paparazzi directed me to Ron. I said 'hello' & shook his hand. He gave an exhausted 'hey' in return. I asked if he could sign it 'To One Stud From Another'. He replied, 'Sure, why not'. After he wrote the finishing touches on my DVD sleeve, he handed it back to me. As I went to shake his hand again, he already began talking to someone else. So I walked out & headed for home, with the door-stationed manager telling me, 'Take it easy, buddy."

It's not often I attend any kind of signings, whether it be book or movie or other forms of media. The only others I went to were by Michael Moore and Scottie Pippen....and I can't find either book now. I'm just not really into hero-worship.

Maybe I went to get Ron Jeremy's signature just to have a story to tell. He really isn't a hero of mine, but I did really like his movie.

Posted 4:58 PM by John A. Seafisk

Questions others have asked and I sometimes wonder about

What if the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about?

Why do your park in a driveway, but drive in a parkway?

If I eat sunflower seeds, will sunflowers be growing from my stomach?

Won't you be my neighbor?

Posted 2:23 AM by John A. Seafisk

It's 2 a.m.on a Sunday night/Monday morning, and I cannot sleep. Like most people, I need to be in a work environment in about 7 hours. If I cannot get some needed rest, I will not be in a chipper mood come 9 o'clock.

Why is it I'm suffering from this insomnia? Is it because of what's going on in the world? Is it because of something more introspective within the depths of my soul? Is it because I don't own a Craftmatic bed?

I don't currently feel stressed...or excited...or anxious...or estastic...or miserable...or overjoyed. Just tired....but not tired enough to collapse into slumber. It's a strange feeling of existing, but nothing more....here I am, now what?

One of the many problems of being awake at 2 a.m. on a 'school night' is the thoughts that creep into your head when no other stimuli is stimulating you. You ask yourself questions, like "What am I doing with myself?"..."Where am I going with all this?"..."Is there something more?"..."Should I be doing something differently?"...."Should I stop doing something, or start doing something?"...and most importantly, 'Why can't I just fall asleep?"

So, here I am, in the middle of the night, sitting in front of a computer, typing away, hoping the activity will help lead me to the Land of 40 Winks. I don't know if it's working.

Let me try the TV. Hmmm....informercial, infomercial, depressing news, infomercial, unimportant news, crappy movie, infomercial....a-ha! Huckleberry Hound....oh wait, I've seen this one, and it's not one of his better offerings.

Guess I'll just spend the rest of the night in my wakened stupor. Something's bound to give, either some rest, or some aggravation from lack of rest.

Maybe the next Huckleberry Hound cartoon will be better. Nope, it's Hokey Wolf. *sigh*

Posted 4:22 PM by John A. Seafisk

Drat! I had Weber State going to the Sweet Sixteen.

Posted 10:56 AM by John A. Seafisk

When something is bothering or annoying you, it's best to take steps to confronting this annoyance, and, as Barney Fife would say, 'nip it in the bud!' When there is someone nearby who is being too loud, you tell them to be quiet. When there is a mosquito buzzing around your head while you're trying to sleep, you get up and kill it. When you have a headache, you take aspirin.

This approach more or less works for these type of annoyances. However, there is one annoyance where confrontation does usually lead to any positive solution....the media.

When you find a television program or film or magazine or newspaper annoying and offensive, taking a confronting stand against the media outlet in question can be counter-productive. Especially in the entertainment industry, any publicity is good publicity. If one gripes about a particular show or movie, instead of efforts being brought about to stop its production, people's curiosity will be piqued. They'll want to tune in or buy a ticket to see what all the fuss is about. Then, word spreads like wildfire....a new topic of discussion is unleashed - "Hey, did you see what happened on/in (insert title here)?" Before you know it, it's the talk of the town. And nothing gets people in front of a screen like slapping on the word "controversial".

But I find the best approach to dealing with dumb TV shows and inane films is just to not watch it. A high majority of Hollywood's output is, in my own opinion, total crap. But if other people enjoy seeing "American Idol" or "The Core" or what have you, then more power to them. Who am I to interfere in other people's happiness? I personally have no interest in these kind of offerings. But instead of griping and complaining about what's being offered viewing-wise, I just don't view it. And I don't hold anyone in lower esteem because they happen to like something I do not. To each his or her own.

Instead of devoting my resources to getting all worked up about stupid plots and idiotic dialogue, I'll find something else to occupy my time, like hiking or pornography. I find I'm a much happier person when I'm not sitting in front of the idiot box or the larger, $8-per-ticket-sitting-through-20-minutes-of-previews-and-some-boob-talking-on-their-cell-phone-during-pivotal-scenes version.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the NCAA Tournament is on.

Posted 11:31 AM by John A. Seafisk

If you're looking for intelligent & thought-provoking conversation and discussion, an Internet message board is not the place to go.

Posted 12:57 PM by John A. Seafisk

The media profession is a lot like the law profession....both make a living out of other people's fears & misery.

Posted 2:48 PM by John A. Seafisk

Ever drink a Pepsi while eating Pop Rocks? It's not something I recommend.

Posted 11:50 AM by John A. Seafisk

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose....but it takes a true friend to let you pick their nose.

Posted 11:01 AM by John A. Seafisk

I'm currently experiencing technical difficulties with my archived posts. Basically, Blogger won't let me update them.

It's a shame, really. I had some memorable stuff in thoses previous ramblings. Wish I could remember what they were.

Posted 11:42 AM by John A. Seafisk

Ow, my head.

Posted 5:05 PM by John A. Seafisk

Fun With Word Fridge Magnets

I know some people have magnetic poetry sets on their refrigerators. You have these small magnets, each with a word or piece of punctuation, and you arrange them or re-arrange them in any order in the hopes of creating some poems or sonnets or what have you.

A recent purchase I made is similar to this activity. Instead of buying a poetry kit, I bought The Onion's Magnetic Headline Kit. For those unfamiliar, The Onion is a satirical newspaper & web site - quite accurate in lampoonery and quite hilarious to many readers, including this one. And I thought what better way to help me snap out of a momentary lapse of creative reason than to play with fridge magnets.

Here are some of the headlines I have proudly displayed, right next to my 2001 Dodgers Magnetic Schedule & Domino's Pizza Phone Number Magnet:

Homosexual CEO Allocates Bacon To St. Louis

Tia Carrere's Giant Breasts Under Pressure

Secretary Scheduled To Speak About Green Bay Packers T-Shirt

Kazakhstan Woman Introduces Sexier Cheddar

College Committee Cracks, Cracks Down on Crack House

The Golden Girls Sent To Congress

$12 Condom Purchased At Gas Station

Horrifying Lesbian Mop Explodes

Assistant Manager Has First Ever Sandwich

Tensions Mount In A**hole

....and many more I can't remember at the moment. Can't you just sense the hilarity ensuing?

Posted 5:40 PM by John A. Seafisk

Don't you hate it when you have a really great idea, but when you finally find some kind of writing utensil, you forget what your idea was?

Doesn't that just suck?

Well, doesn't it????

Posted 2:42 PM by John A. Seafisk

Uh oh, I'm on a sugar high after lunch. Darn those 44oz Dr Peppers! Darn darn darn darn darn darn darn darn darn! (stomping foot & making whole room shake, a la Herman Munster)

Being on a sugar high is similar to being drunk, except you're heading in the opposite direction of reaction. When plastered, you talk slower, think slower, and do not act like your normal sober self. When sugared up, you talk faster, think faster, and do not act like your normal sober self. But with the case of each state, you cannot fully control your actions.

Like right now. I'm only typing up this little blurb because of all this manic energy I'm currently channeling. If I was at the opposite end of the spectrum, i.e. tanked, my typing would loook mor lik thiz withwordsrunningtogetherandmispeledaholelott.

But, as with all sugar rushes, they soon come to an end. Things slow down, and you're not as fast.....

at.....

um.....

typing. So you're back to normal....waiting for the next opportunity to slightly alter your lifestyle, whether it be reallyquickat100milesperhour or verrrrrrrry slowwwwwwlyyyyy.

Posted 1:50 PM by John A. Seafisk

So I was at my local Boston Market the other day for lunch....which seems slightly odd, since I thought they declared bankruptcy. Anyway, as I waited for my Boston Carver combo, a guy in his early twenties in a short sleeve dress shirt & tie approached me. He turns to me and asks, "Are you a programmer?"

He explains that I look like a programmer, with my long hair & beard and the fact is that I'm wearing a Lancaster JetHawks sweatshirt & slacks. I'm assuming he means a computer programmer.

I politely answer no, and he further explains that there's a lot of programmers around working at the nearby studios - Warner Bros., NBC, Disney.

I then reply that I wouldn't be working at Disney, since their company policy forbids facial hair (and I assume it applies to both sexes). He seems surprised as he responds "Really?" I reiterate. I don't remember if this facial fact is true or just an urban legend, but it seems to go along with corporate mouse policy.

As I grab my lunch & go, I wonder who is the more confused from our conversation...myself, for the programmer comparison; or the other guy, for the Disney no-hair story.

At least the sandwich was pretty good.

Posted 12:29 PM by John A. Seafisk

You fools!

Posted 5:13 PM by John A. Seafisk

A pleasant drive along a coastline always does wonders for the mind & soul. It also helps the body when you park & walk around a bit near the coast.

I took my mind & soul for a nice trip along the Pacific Coast Highway west of Los Angeles. It was great to see the beauty nature still has to offer, especially west of Malibu and before Port Hueneme.

Maybe next time I'll try helping my body. After eating pepperoni pizza for dinner when I returned, my body needs all the help it can get.

Posted 4:31 PM by John A. Seafisk

Yep, I sure need to add more amusing & thrilling content to this blog.

Mmm hmm.

No doubt about it.

Hell yeah.

Boy, howdy.

Got that right.

Sho' nuff.

Damn straight.

F---in' A.

Yes sir.

Posted 3:45 PM by John A. Seafisk

You know, I really should update this more often.

Oh, well. Read this instead.