Posted 6:25 PM by John A. Seafisk

Just Got Back From a Vegas Show

I just returned from a week spent in Las Vegas, Nevada. Not literally spent, since I did not have much chance to do any gambling....for I was not there on vacation, I was there to work on a play.

The play is called "The Godfaddah Workout". Basically, it is a one-man show in which the one man re-enacts scenes from the film "The Godfather". He plays all the parts, leaping all over furniture to change to different characters. It is quite a funny performance, not to mention athletic.

My role in this production was not of the one man, but of one of five 'Goombahs'. The Goombahs were on-stage stagehands who move furniture and setting between scenes, and also present & remove props during the scenes. Our roles as Goombahs were all choreographed, meaning we just didn't plop down desks and chairs -- We had to carefully orchestrate what to put where and when to do it. The process was designed to speed the scene changes, in addition to keep the audience entertained. So the good folks in attendance got to see these guys pop up on stage in their white shirts, black slacks, suspenders & fedoras...and watch us move car fenders & trampolines, just to name a few items we had to deal with.

We all arrived on a Thursday at noon, and immediately went to work. We had to unload a large semi trailer full of furniture & storage bins & doors & such. Then we had to organize everything & rebuild whatever needed rebuiling. After that, it was learning or re-learning cues and directions.

Everyday from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. we'd spend in a theater at the Golden Nugget Casino, with occasional breaks for lunch & dinner. The theater was originally built for Frank Sinatra, which added to the aura a bit. But I will admit, rehearsing & re-organizing did take their toll physically and emotionally. For those not involved in the theater world, there is a heck of a lot of preparation in putting together what you see on stage.

For our first rehearsal, it felt like I found new ways to screw up between each scene. It immediately got off to a bad start when the first thing I did after setting down a desk was to run into a tree. It went downhill from there. I was late for cues, I had trouble carrying other objects....it all led to my most spectacular mistake - falling down in a thunderous boom while pankicly trying to move a chair with a trampoline on it. I thought, 'I have sucked like no thespian has sucked before.' (Or it actually might have been, "What the hell am I doing?")

The next night was the actual performance. Two days is not normally an ample amount of time to re-learn a play you haven't been involved with in the past 2 years. But we had a quick run-through in the morning, and my mistake & the mistakes of others were slowly minimized. At 7 p.m., the curtain pulled back, and there I was...on stage....moving a desk over with another goombah. As we exited Stage Right, I approached the tree...and didn't even brush against it.

As the play went on, the laughter from the audience grew and grew. The star of the show was feeding off the crowd's reaction, and the Goombahs were feeling the boost, as well. We strode confidently between each scene change, lugging our heavy tables with greater ease. We even received a few laughs of our own, and they were intentional. An hour after it began, the play ended, the curtain closed, and the Goombahs all scrambled behind, reading for the curtain call.

When it opened, we were greeted with a standing ovation. 300 people applauding, with a few whistles of approvement thrown in. Although the glare of the stagelights made it impossible to see it, the ovation could definitely be heard...and felt. The star & the Goombahs all gathered back stage to bask in the glow of a successful show. Hearing the applause & cheers made the 16-hour days of aggravation & worry worth it. It was one of the times in my life where I had such a strong sense of accomplishment.

Then we had to go re-load the truck. We finished at 4 a.m. But we did have a lavish dinner beforehand, courtesy of the show's producers. And after the load up, we decided there was no point in sleep, so we finally hit the casinos - first downtown, then The Strip. I played roulette and came out $10 ahead.

It's been 2 days since I returned, and I'm still slowly recovering. The days were long & tiring. The casino employee cafeteria brought back memories of college dorm food. My hands & legs are a patchwork of cuts & bruises.

I had a great time.

Posted 6:17 PM by John A. Seafisk

Bowled Over

I went bowling last night. Not just out of the blue - I was invited for a friend's impromptu birthday celebration. We went to a bowling alley connected with an ice rink I occasionally visit to play broomball.

My scores for the 3 games were 93, 139, 124. A few strikes here, a few gutter balls there, I was overall pleased with my perfomance. PBA Tour, here I come!

The only thing that irked me...well, not irked, but half-annoyed, was the alley's policy of not bringing in outside food or drink. I can understand if we were going to a Dodgers game, because of their dependancy on concession sales of $7 beers, but this wasn't a Dodgers game. (There was more scoring.) Our friend brought cupcakes to share in celebration of his birth. However, he could only bring them in on the stipulation that we don't eat them.

What? Were they afraid our consumption of frosted treats would be an economic dagger into the back of their snack bar? (The snack bar was closed, by the way.) Were they afraid of getting chocolate on their balls? They were mostly black, anyway, so it wouldn't have shown. (Insert your own black chocolate balls joke here.)

So, after 20 rousing frames, we stepped outside. Most people would be stepping outside to smoke; we were stepping outside to eat cupcakes. Like cigarette smoke, I guess the aroma of Duncan Hines treat would be distracting to the bowling alley staff.

And since we wanted to continue bowling after eating, there was the dilemma about our bowling shoes. Do we take them off & turn them in, only to re-retrieve them afterwards? Do we leave them on, having the bowling alley staff thinking we wanted to steal them? Because, as you know, nothing sets the style like walking down Sunset Strip in big bowling shoes with the words 'Pickwick Alley' emblazoned across the toes.

We were told we could walk outside with the shoes on.....AS LONG AS WE DON"T WALK ON THE ASPHALT. I'm guessing the shoes might melt if they touched the parking lot. Just to be coy, I hovered my foot just off the sidewalk...but no one was watching, so I stopped.

All in all, it was a good evening. My arm wasn't too sore, the cupcakes were good, and my post-throw body-english had a few snazzy moves.

Posted 5:09 PM by John A. Seafisk

Movie Time

I'm going to go see 'Martix: Reloaded' this evening. Now, this statement should cause a lot of concern & confusion to you dear readers. And here's why:

1. I never attend movies. I, on average, usually attend about 2 or 3 cinema outings a year. And the few times I actually go to see a film, it's usually one of those 'independent' films playing at 'art house' theaters - 'Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy', for example. I hardly, if ever, make a point to spend $9-$10 on a 'blockbuster' or 'highly advertised' movie. And this 'Matrix' film sure gots a lot of buzz at the moment.

2. I did not see the first 'Matrix'. So, I've been told that I will be thoroughly confused trying to follow along with the plot. I suppose I just won't follow any plot, then....I'll just react to each on-screen explosion with a, "Coooooool!", with the occasional "Awesome!"

3. Usually when someone writes about a film, they put pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard) AFTER they see the film. And here I am blabbing about it even before I've had my $4 box of Raisinets.

4. I enjoy ice hockey, and have really been following this year's playoffs. However, as a result of my attendance at this film, I will be unable to watch Game 4 of the NHL Western Conference Finals between the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim & the Minnesota Wild.. I will miss the chance to witness those scrappy Ducks possibly clinch their way to the Stanley Cup final.

This isn't coming off as a complaint. If I really didn't want to go, I would have declined. But, I've realised, when I'm not out hiking or buying pornography, I should be involved in more social outings. And this outing will be with some folks I haven't seen that often lately. Therefore, I'm not going because I really want to see 'Matrix: Reloaded". I'm going because I can.

Posted 2:22 PM by John A. Seafisk

A Slightly Ribald Joke

An elderly man went to see his doctor. "Doc, you gotta help me!" he said. "It's my sex drive."

"What about it?" asked the doctor.

The man replied, "I want you to lower it."

The doctor was taken off-guard by this request. He looked at the man, who was in poor health and had a nasty cough. The doctor asked, "Come again?"

The man said again, "I want you to lower it."

After a brief examination, the doctor was still puzzled by the man's request. "I'm sorry," the doctor told him, "But I see nothing so extraordinary about your sex drive. It's all in your head!"

"I know," the man replied. "That's why I want you to lower it!"

Posted 2:15 AM by John A. Seafisk

Now I Have An Excuse

I finally received my 'Family Guy' DVD box set. I can watch my television set again at any time, as opposed to waiting until 11:30 p.m. Sunday through Thursday on Cartoon Network. Then again, the episodes that are scheduled for this week are not featured in the box set.

Well, guess the VCR gets to keep it's job for a little while.

I shall now wrap up this very short blog entry with a hilarious 'Family Guy' quote:

Peter: "Oh my god...there's a secret message in my Alpha Bits! It says, 'Oooooooooooooo!'"
Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios."

Posted 10:54 AM by John A. Seafisk

I probably should have put some kind of viewer advisory on the last post, since the subject matter was for more mature audiences.

Then I bet even more people would read it.

Posted 10:52 AM by John A. Seafisk

An Open Letter To Those Who Use Men's Public Restrooms

How hard is it not to pee on the toilet seats? Don't you realise how disgusting that is? What is so difficult about lifting the seat up when doing Number One? Have you no consideration to those of us who need to do Number Two? Do you think we want to sit in your urine? Do you think we want to waste precious valuable time cleaning up the mess you were too damn lazy to take care of yourself? When Nature calls, you need to accept the charges...you can't put this one on call-waiting.

What's wrong with you people? Are you stupid?

Jeez.

Posted 10:03 AM by John A. Seafisk

Has anyone else stopped watching 'The Simpsons' on a regular basis? It's as if Matt Groening, Fox & co. no longer care.

Well, neither do I.

Posted 2:47 PM by John A. Seafisk

Still waiting to get my hands on the 'Family Guy' DVD box set. At least it would give me a better excuse as to my lack of postings here.

Posted 5:10 PM by John A. Seafisk

John Seafisk's 114th Dream

Last night, I had a dream. Technically, everybody has dreams when they sleep, except not everyone remembers them or they're too dull & boring to be worth remembering. Was mine worth remembering? You be the judge:

It began at a motel near a mountainous desert region, maybe Arizona or the Mojave. A group of us were about to leave for a hiking expedition, and the people in the group were the same ones I went out dancing with last weekend for someone's birthday. (sidenote: Happy Birthday, Anna!) Before we left, I ran back to my hotel room to grab something...maybe sunglasses or a canteen or sunblock, I don't remember. Anyway, when I returned to the lobby, everyone was gone. I walked into the hotel restaurant, where I found the group I was just with. And they were working...some were waitressing, some were cooking, some were maitre'd-ing. I was told that the expedition was cancelled, and I should go find something else to do.

So I went for a walk...and somehow ended up in the gray-skied envions of Northwest Indiana....the gray skies coming from the steel mills nearby. I walked up a bridge over an interstate highway, and when I got to the top, I encounted members of the music group No Doubt.

Then I quickly realized that the top of the bridge was very, very high. There was only one way down...by parachute. A line formed for people to jump. After Gwen Stefani made her leap & started floating down, I was set to go. Just as I began floating down, music started playing....I soon realized I was in the start of a No Doubt music video. (Has No Doubt even made a music video involving parachutes?)

However, I was floating down in the other direction away from Gwen & her pals...with the music also fading away. I finally landed on a city street. But, there was something strange about this street....It was brightly colored, and the people seemed unreal & talking very quickly.

I looked around quickly, then realized where I was....I landed in a Japanese animated cartoon! Not one of those violent, "Akira"-type toons, but something along the lines of Tokyo Pig & Lupin The Third. The weird thing is I've only seen 1 episode of Tokyo Pig & 2 episodes of Lupin The Third in my lifetime. Don't get me wrong, they were pretty amusing...but why would I remember it?

Then I woke up.

I lay there in bed for a good few minutes, thinking to myself....

"What the hell was all that about?!?!!?"