Posted 4:45 PM by John A. Seafisk

Celebrity Signing

I saw Ron Jeremy yesterday. For those unfamiliar with the name, Ron is a well-kown adult film star who has spent the past 20 or so years in the industry. Within that span, he has gotten overweight & lost some hair, but still has maintained the prime reason why he's still working hard. (You can figure out what I'm talking about by the clue word 'hard'.)

Ron has become an underground hero, of sorts. Last year, a documentary film was released about him. I went to go see it, primarily out of curiosity, with the added benefit of seeing some porno scenes without feeling too dirty or guilty about it. "It's not a sex film! It's a documentary! It's art!" Besides, the scenes were hardly graphic.

What also made this trip to the cinema interesting is that I, in fact, went to see a movie at all. It has become known to people that know me that I am not a movie buff. I have been written off as, "He Hate Movies". This is not 100% accurate...more like 95% accurate. I do not make a point to trek to a cinema because I don't find the experience very entertaining. My main point of contention are the usual offerings on screen. In my frank opinion, most is garbage, especially the big-budget, play-it-in-stadium-style-seated-theather. My 2nd point of contention is paying at least $8.50 to sit through such nonsense. Point #3 - Even before the film starts, having to sit through 6 or 7 trailers for equally bad & annoying films. Point #4 - people in the audience, in which there is always someone talking on their cell phone or laughing loudly at inopportune moments or people making loud noise in general or little kids yelling and/or crying. And Point #5 - I'm very picky in what I watch.

But, pushing all these points aside, I went to one of those small, art-house theaters and watched the movie. I liked it. Very interesting & humorous at times.

A year later, I found out that the DVD of "Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy" would be released yesterday, and the Hedgehog himself (as he is known) would be signing copies at Tower Records & Video on Sunset Boulevard. I, of course, had to go.

The signings began at 6 p.m. I arrived at the store at 7:30. There were 3 people in front of me, and there stood Mr. Jeremy, along with a semicircle of his managers & paparazzi (I'm guessing). He looked pretty much the same as in the documentary, except shorter. Or maybe I'm just taller than I think. He was standing at a table, signing away & posing for photographs, and he looked tired...not annoyed tired, but I-need-a-quick-nap tired.

After waiting for him to sign some guy's large Homer Simpson cardboard cut-out, one of the managers/paparazzi directed me to Ron. I said 'hello' & shook his hand. He gave an exhausted 'hey' in return. I asked if he could sign it 'To One Stud From Another'. He replied, 'Sure, why not'. After he wrote the finishing touches on my DVD sleeve, he handed it back to me. As I went to shake his hand again, he already began talking to someone else. So I walked out & headed for home, with the door-stationed manager telling me, 'Take it easy, buddy."

It's not often I attend any kind of signings, whether it be book or movie or other forms of media. The only others I went to were by Michael Moore and Scottie Pippen....and I can't find either book now. I'm just not really into hero-worship.

Maybe I went to get Ron Jeremy's signature just to have a story to tell. He really isn't a hero of mine, but I did really like his movie.

Posted 4:58 PM by John A. Seafisk

Questions others have asked and I sometimes wonder about

What if the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about?

Why do your park in a driveway, but drive in a parkway?

If I eat sunflower seeds, will sunflowers be growing from my stomach?

Won't you be my neighbor?

Posted 2:23 AM by John A. Seafisk

It's 2 a.m.on a Sunday night/Monday morning, and I cannot sleep. Like most people, I need to be in a work environment in about 7 hours. If I cannot get some needed rest, I will not be in a chipper mood come 9 o'clock.

Why is it I'm suffering from this insomnia? Is it because of what's going on in the world? Is it because of something more introspective within the depths of my soul? Is it because I don't own a Craftmatic bed?

I don't currently feel stressed...or excited...or anxious...or estastic...or miserable...or overjoyed. Just tired....but not tired enough to collapse into slumber. It's a strange feeling of existing, but nothing more....here I am, now what?

One of the many problems of being awake at 2 a.m. on a 'school night' is the thoughts that creep into your head when no other stimuli is stimulating you. You ask yourself questions, like "What am I doing with myself?"..."Where am I going with all this?"..."Is there something more?"..."Should I be doing something differently?"...."Should I stop doing something, or start doing something?"...and most importantly, 'Why can't I just fall asleep?"

So, here I am, in the middle of the night, sitting in front of a computer, typing away, hoping the activity will help lead me to the Land of 40 Winks. I don't know if it's working.

Let me try the TV. Hmmm....informercial, infomercial, depressing news, infomercial, unimportant news, crappy movie, infomercial....a-ha! Huckleberry Hound....oh wait, I've seen this one, and it's not one of his better offerings.

Guess I'll just spend the rest of the night in my wakened stupor. Something's bound to give, either some rest, or some aggravation from lack of rest.

Maybe the next Huckleberry Hound cartoon will be better. Nope, it's Hokey Wolf. *sigh*

Posted 4:22 PM by John A. Seafisk

Drat! I had Weber State going to the Sweet Sixteen.

Posted 10:56 AM by John A. Seafisk

When something is bothering or annoying you, it's best to take steps to confronting this annoyance, and, as Barney Fife would say, 'nip it in the bud!' When there is someone nearby who is being too loud, you tell them to be quiet. When there is a mosquito buzzing around your head while you're trying to sleep, you get up and kill it. When you have a headache, you take aspirin.

This approach more or less works for these type of annoyances. However, there is one annoyance where confrontation does usually lead to any positive solution....the media.

When you find a television program or film or magazine or newspaper annoying and offensive, taking a confronting stand against the media outlet in question can be counter-productive. Especially in the entertainment industry, any publicity is good publicity. If one gripes about a particular show or movie, instead of efforts being brought about to stop its production, people's curiosity will be piqued. They'll want to tune in or buy a ticket to see what all the fuss is about. Then, word spreads like wildfire....a new topic of discussion is unleashed - "Hey, did you see what happened on/in (insert title here)?" Before you know it, it's the talk of the town. And nothing gets people in front of a screen like slapping on the word "controversial".

But I find the best approach to dealing with dumb TV shows and inane films is just to not watch it. A high majority of Hollywood's output is, in my own opinion, total crap. But if other people enjoy seeing "American Idol" or "The Core" or what have you, then more power to them. Who am I to interfere in other people's happiness? I personally have no interest in these kind of offerings. But instead of griping and complaining about what's being offered viewing-wise, I just don't view it. And I don't hold anyone in lower esteem because they happen to like something I do not. To each his or her own.

Instead of devoting my resources to getting all worked up about stupid plots and idiotic dialogue, I'll find something else to occupy my time, like hiking or pornography. I find I'm a much happier person when I'm not sitting in front of the idiot box or the larger, $8-per-ticket-sitting-through-20-minutes-of-previews-and-some-boob-talking-on-their-cell-phone-during-pivotal-scenes version.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the NCAA Tournament is on.

Posted 11:31 AM by John A. Seafisk

If you're looking for intelligent & thought-provoking conversation and discussion, an Internet message board is not the place to go.

Posted 12:57 PM by John A. Seafisk

The media profession is a lot like the law profession....both make a living out of other people's fears & misery.

Posted 2:48 PM by John A. Seafisk

Ever drink a Pepsi while eating Pop Rocks? It's not something I recommend.

Posted 11:50 AM by John A. Seafisk

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose....but it takes a true friend to let you pick their nose.

Posted 11:01 AM by John A. Seafisk

I'm currently experiencing technical difficulties with my archived posts. Basically, Blogger won't let me update them.

It's a shame, really. I had some memorable stuff in thoses previous ramblings. Wish I could remember what they were.

Posted 11:42 AM by John A. Seafisk

Ow, my head.

Posted 5:05 PM by John A. Seafisk

Fun With Word Fridge Magnets

I know some people have magnetic poetry sets on their refrigerators. You have these small magnets, each with a word or piece of punctuation, and you arrange them or re-arrange them in any order in the hopes of creating some poems or sonnets or what have you.

A recent purchase I made is similar to this activity. Instead of buying a poetry kit, I bought The Onion's Magnetic Headline Kit. For those unfamiliar, The Onion is a satirical newspaper & web site - quite accurate in lampoonery and quite hilarious to many readers, including this one. And I thought what better way to help me snap out of a momentary lapse of creative reason than to play with fridge magnets.

Here are some of the headlines I have proudly displayed, right next to my 2001 Dodgers Magnetic Schedule & Domino's Pizza Phone Number Magnet:

Homosexual CEO Allocates Bacon To St. Louis

Tia Carrere's Giant Breasts Under Pressure

Secretary Scheduled To Speak About Green Bay Packers T-Shirt

Kazakhstan Woman Introduces Sexier Cheddar

College Committee Cracks, Cracks Down on Crack House

The Golden Girls Sent To Congress

$12 Condom Purchased At Gas Station

Horrifying Lesbian Mop Explodes

Assistant Manager Has First Ever Sandwich

Tensions Mount In A**hole

....and many more I can't remember at the moment. Can't you just sense the hilarity ensuing?

Posted 5:40 PM by John A. Seafisk

Don't you hate it when you have a really great idea, but when you finally find some kind of writing utensil, you forget what your idea was?

Doesn't that just suck?

Well, doesn't it????