Posted 2:06 PM by John A. Seafisk

I hope everyone had a pleasant Boxing Day yesterday.

In honor of our Canadian friends, I went to a hockey game. However, the few times a fight almost broke out, the referees stepped in and stopped it before it could start.

Well, if that isn't a slap in the face to Canadian heritage. Fighting is what hockey is almost all about! Why do you think they call it 'Boxing Day'?

By the way, the Bakersfield Condors beat the Fresno Falcons 5-3. I would have bought a jersey, but they were selling for $100. If that was in Canadian funds, then I would have reconsidered.

Posted 12:20 PM by John A. Seafisk

Karaokemon

To follow up my previous blog entry, here's a few more karaoke performances I can remember offhand:

-"Revolution", by the Beatles
This is my karaoke standard, as I have sung this melody the greatest number of times. 3, I think. I enjoy it because of the loud, voracious scream at the beginning of the song...which never fails to wake up the audience, or frighten, for that matter.

-"Bungle In the Jungle", by Jethro Tull
This was my first-ever song at a karaoke bar. Needless to say, it was terrible. Not the song itself, but my performance of it. I was off-key by about 80 or so keys. All in all, it was an unenjoyable evening. The same 5-6 people got to keep going up, while I had to wait a full hour after signing up. All because the hosts wanted tips. Tips for what? For keeping the microphones warm? For letting me sit & grow even more nervous? And the wait staff never came by to get us drinks. It certainly was a bungle of a night out.

-"Do Ya Think I'm Sexy", by Rod Stewart
This has to be my favorite performance up to date. It was at an establishment which was made up entirely of karaoke rooms. About 20 or so of us squeezed into a room designed for about 10 people. And to add to an already pressure-packed situation, each karaoke machine would grade your performance after the song is over. The grading was on a scale from 0-99...99 being the best score, obivously.

Well, soon it was my turn to belt out some melodies. I selected Rod Stewart's amorous ode, "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?". And if that wasn't enough to drive the ladies crazy, I sung it in a Scottish accent....rolling the r's, 'doon' instead of 'done', the whole bit. After I was done, we watched the machine spins it's numbers for my score......

99! Slighly after my performance, someone told me that was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. I'm sure Rod would have been proud.

Posted 10:53 PM by John A. Seafisk

Karaoke-dokey

A fun activity to do with friends & easily embarrass yourself is to sing karaoke. "Karaoke" is Japanese for "empty orchestra". I'm sure you all know the dril....you grab a microphone & sing along to the melody to a popular song, aided by a video screen presenting the lyrics (although there can be some amusing typos). You warble off-key, and your friends & other audience members laugh at your expense but give you a nice round of applause at the end of your performance. Some may think that the applause is in relief that you're finally finished...but I rather not think so low about my entertainment abilities.

I went with a few friends last weekend at a karaoke bar. Well, technically, it was a karaoke machine set up in the bar section of a franchised mexican restaurant. The crowd was small, which is good if you feel nervous about singing in front of your friends, let alone complete strangers. Here is what I offered to the semi-drunk, sem-appreciative audience:

"Paranoid:, by Black Sabbath
"I'm So Excited", by The Pointer Sisters (by request)
"Baby Got Back", by Sir Mix-A-Lot (duet)
"Incense & Peppermints", by Strawberry Alarm Clock

By far, the best was 'Baby Got Back'. I had the rhythm down well, and even did some record-scratching moves. Later on, as I was walking to the restroom, a small crowd at a table asked if I could go up & do it again. They wanted an encore! How cool is that!

Posted 7:14 PM by John A. Seafisk

You Smell Gas, Or Is It Me?

While my car was being poked & prodded during a scheduled oil change, I decided to frequent a nearby Taco Bell establishment for lunch. When I placed my Grilled Stuft Chicken Fajita Combo order and sat down, I thought I smelt something. Something like gas.

But it wasn't the gas usually associated with Taco Bell consumption...it was a gasoline smell. Plenty of thoughts were transporting through my head:

-Was the smell coming from me?
-Was I the only one who noticed the odor?
-Was it from someone else on a lunch break from the local Chevron?
-Did a disgruntled ex-Taco Bell employee recently purposely spill some flammable liquid all over the place so he/she could set us all on fire in some bizarre act of revenge?
-Is gasoline the secret ingredient in their chipolte sauce?
-Those 3 girls sitting over there are kind of cute....hope they're not just high school age.
-I'm out of Dr. Pepper.

But, my olfactory alarm sensations were no match for my hunger pangs, so when my meal was ready, it was a Homer Simpson-eque "Can't think about gas danger...eating" situation. As someone who is not a big fan of red & green peepers, thus not a big fan of normal fajita plates, I did enjoy my grilled stuft burrito. (Yes, 'stuft', not 'stuffed'.)

After my quick gorging, and one more Dr. Pepper for the road, I left...not noticing any more gasoline odors. Did I just imagine it? Was it some kind of psychic link from my car, giving me a reminder of what it was going through while I was enjoying Mexican food? Was it from the leaking cigarette lighter of one of the cute 3 girls who neither one of them looked like they smoke, but maybe they all had a secret 2-pack-a-day habit? Was I going mad?

I soon returned to my vehicle & we hit the road. Turned up the Frank Zappa on my CD player as we merge onto the interstate. Maybe the whole gasoline incident was really nothing. Just to be sure, I listened intenty to Frank.....and heard no gasoline songs.