Posted 12:19 AM by John A. Seafisk

Guess It Was An All-Snore Game

Apparently, last evening's 2002 MLB All-Star Game was one of the lowest-rated baseball all-star games ever. Me and my 980,000 Nielsen household points were withheld from this spectacle. Instead, I watched a DVD of the first season of a BBC sitcom called Father Ted. It was very clever and amusing...all without any molestation jokes!

Was it unpatriotic of me to shun a celebration of America's pastime in favor of a British sitcom? I do not think so. First of all, Father Ted takes place on an island off the coast of Ireland, not Britain. Second, it looks as though the baseball players and owners will eventually be shunning me and any other fans yet again, with all this here strike talk & gloomy economic situation. Besides, one of the Father Ted episodes featured the Monsignor on vacation in California. And another episode featured the starring priests dressing up like Elvis. If that isn't Americana, I don't know what is!

And to reaffirm my faith & pride in the good ol' U.S. of A., I watched 'Ferris Buehler's Day Off'...on a big screen outside with my fellow Americans, no less! What's more American than playing hooky from school? (Although, this may explain the low test scores from our educated younger ones.) And before the film was shown, there was a Twist & Shout contest held by the radio station sponsoring the movie event. What's more American than doing funny dances? In other less freedom-loving places, you could be beheaded for doing something as innocent as the hokey-pokey or bonie-maronie. Also, the contest winners & non-winners all won t-shirts and tickets to the circus! What's more American than acting like a goofball for free stuff?

This land is still my country 'tis of thee. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Blackadder episodes to watch.