Posted 11:01 AM by John A. Seafisk

Beware American Idols & Graven Bobblehead Images

Last night was Sean Green Bobblehead Doll Night at Dodger Stadium. Oh, and there was a Dodgers-Padres game, too.

As we sat in the $6 Upper Upper Upper Deck, I realized it wasn't such a bad view. We were right behind home plate, albeit about 100 feet up, but we could see the whole field, and the players looked no smaller than sitting on either edge of the reserved section seats.

After soaking in the environment for a short while, it was time for the National Anthem. And who would be doing the honors of singing said anthem, but the finalists of the Fox show "American Idol".

I have not seen "American Idol" and have no plans whatsoever to do so. But based on the ads I've seen and the discussions I've heard from others who have seen it, I don't think I'm missing much. Just another annoying 'reality' show. If you're into that sort of thing, more power to you. But catching very small glimpses of other similar TV fare (i.e. "The Real World", "The Mole", "Big Brother", etc.), I don't believe real reality has that many attractive people.

So I let out a small groan, thinking I would be the only one unexcited about "American Idol" folks having me as their captive audience. But a strange thing happened instead. As soon as the word "Idol" left the PA Announcer's mouth, the rest of the crowd started booing. It wasn't a vicious or mailicious boo, but more like a disinterested & slightly annoyed boo...sort of a collective "feh".

There were about 8 or 10 singers altogether; I couldn't really tell since they all looked the same on their Jumbotron close-ups. Each one took a verse, and did their damnedest to draw it out for as long as possible. Example: "Oh say can you seeee" became "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay caaaaaaaaaaaaan youuuuuuuuuuuuu, caaaaaaaaaan youuuuuuuuu seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".

It reminded me of an early 'Simpsons' episode where Homer becomes Dancin' Homer, the mascot for the Springfield Isotopes minor league baseball team. One of the gags early in the show is when Bleedin' Gums Murphy sings the Star Spangled Banner. He begins while standing behind the stadium clock that reads '7:30'. Of course, he's drawing out each verse very similar to the description in this log's previous paragraph. The shot keeps dissolving between verses, and when he's finally finished, the clock reads 7:57. Cut to the crowd standing at attention, finally collapsing in a sigh of exhaustion, save for Lisa, who stood wide-eyed & unflinching throughout.

When the real-life cartoon characters finally finished their rendition, I applauded politely....not for the singers, but for the song they sung.

The game was an official sellout. I could tell because every single concession line at Dodger Stadium was 5 lines wide & at least 10 people deep. My evening meal was chosen from the only stand that didn't have a line: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. I can think of plenty of worse dinners than 4 glazed donuts & a chug of milk.

But it was a quick game. Dodgers lost 4-1. They are now 1-6 when I'm in attendance. So they should do OK until the next time I plan on seeing them: Hideo Nomo Bobblehead Night.